The Attention Deficit Disorder Thread

There's no option to buy the lamp in the US from the website...

 

i know that I know nothing at all!

 

:cat1:

 

:cat1: :cat1:

 

The following questions were set in last year's GCSE examination in Swindon, Wiltshire (U.K.)

These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U (What the *!!*???)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

 

I will not be forced into admitting that I have a tiny pink thong with Barney's face on it.

 

At the chime the time will be 8:56am


*waiting*
*waiting*
*waiting*
*waiting*
*waiting*
*waiting*
*waiting*
*waiting*
*waiting*
*waiting*
*waiting*
*waiting*
*waiting*
*waiting*
*waiting*
......oh dear God!!!!!!!!!

 

Said the blue bird to the cornflower : "meow'

 

Never face an army of aliens with a single fork.

 

Thank you for your generous donation to "Find Santa" foundation; the foundation that works around the clock at finding out who and where this fat red bastard really is.

 

Oh I get it, you also need like a fork and a spoon in case the aliens invite you to dinner which they probably will cause they're freindly aliens and then you're like well that's nice dear aliens I'd love to have dinner with you and then you realise they don't use any silverwera and you're like damn had I only brought a fork, spoon and klife this wouldn't be so embarassing cause now you have to eat with your hands but that's ok, together you just have a laugh about it.


:mrgreen:

 

^^ clicky

 

Oh my! *sigh*

 

I take matters in my own hands from hencehereforth!

 

Petra has that effect on me as well.

 

:mrgreen:

 

Spider made that gif for me as well as a bunch of others...

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=0BLOICOM
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=94LKDWZ9

Enjoy!