The Attention Deficit Disorder Thread

Why? (that's rhetorical, don't answer)


Okay, restroom break over. Back to the bar. Ta.

 

Have fun.

 

I'll see myself when I see myself.

 

The band is on a break. They could be better. Led Zep blaring from the sound system atm proving how it's supposed to be done.

 

You and Jack were married and had a dozen screaming offspring all under the age of 5 thanks to your genetic disposition for multiple births and lived on a goat farm when Insomniac was the night watchman and Milles was the butler/groundsman

 

D'ya know how people judge you these days? They look at your shoes. Your shoes! Men do it now, WTF? This used to be the realm of women. Style and fashion and all that. But now'days if your shoes look like shit, so then be you. Me? I'm wearing hiking boots. In the U.S. no one can find fault with that this time of year. Or if you're trendy, any time of year.

The reason I mention it is because I'm wearing trashy (but comfortable) clothes - I look almost homeless in fact - but that doesn't seem to matter with the local facsionistas. Whenever I catch someone checking me out, their eyes invariably fall towards the floor. Not from an ability to make eye contact but to decide whether or not eye contact is justified! It's all about the shoes. Odd that. :33:

 

http://img224.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=89981_ashleygellar__123_748lo.jpg

 

And it really is funny to catch a security guard checking out your feet. They do it almost reluctantly, as if they'd been instructed to do so, as opposed to judging the sinister look in one's eye, which says so much more than, "Hey, I'm wearing new Nike's! Trust me!"

 

Me : So how do I look?

Monkey butler : Sir, you look fit enough to petition the Dutches Of York; If I may ask sir, where are you venturing to in this midnight excursion?

Me : Why to the clubs and bar, where the young people of the age dance and numb their senses, and for their numbed senses dance!

Monkey butler : Ah, well then Sir I believe your shoes are rather inappropriate.

Me : But I especially picked my driving moccasins so that I may freely strut about the dance floor.

Monkey butler : Sir I believe the young people are wearing tings called "sneakers" these days, without which some roughian might deem you unworthy to enter said establishment.

Me : And where-for do you know this?

Monkey butler : I speak from experience Sir, for I have been to such places myself.

Me : When have you ever been to a dance club?

Monkey butler : At the Autumn Butler Met last year, it was the only place that would have us at short notice after a rather large fumble mistook Chateau Margaux for Chateau Margarita....the latter being an all Mexican cleaning service.

Me : Oh my oh my....the droll irony of butlers vacationing as the cleaning help


Monkey butler : Yes, Sir....it does reek of irony.

Me : Now would you fetch me some of these so-called "sneakers".

Monkey butler : Immediately.

 

Can't see her shoes?! How can I judge her?

 

:33:

 

So you don't deny it? :shock:

 

:neutral:

 

So is the Goat News Thread?

 

http://abclocal.go.com/wtvg/video?id=7898908