The Attention Deficit Disorder Thread

Dum dee dum dee dum...

 

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And what now? Stewardes jokes?

 

Please return stewardess to the original upright position.

 

What sepererates the prostitute from the alcoholic?


-The cockpit door.

 

Q: How do you tell if you're making love to a nurse, a schoolteacher, or an airline stewardess?

A: A nurse says: "This won't hurt a bit. " A schoolteacher says, "We're going to have to do this over and overagain until we get it right. " An airline stewardess says, "Just hold this over your mouth and nose, and breathnormally. "

 

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess; the route they were flying had a stay-over in another city. Upon their arrival the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up, wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room? " the captain asked, "Why not? "The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a signon it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

 

Just before takeoff one day, a flight attendant approached Muhammad Ali and asked that he fasten his seat belt. "Superman don't need no seat belt," Ali growled. "Well, Superman," the stewardess replied, "don't need no airplane!"

 

There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane. At the top of the stairs there was a stewardess collecting tickets. When the man got to the top of the stairs, he opened his coat andexposed himself. The stewardess said, "I'm sorry sir. You have toshow your ticket here, not your stub. "

 

A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines fromKansas to Chicago. The son, who had been looking out thewindow, turned to his mother and said, "If big dogs havebaby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planeshave baby planes? " The mother, who couldn't think of ananswer, told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boyasked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and bigcats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes? "The stewardess asked, "Did your mother tell you to ask me? "The boy said that she had. She then said, "Tell your motherthat Southwest always pulls out on time. "

 

All these jokes require a short attention span.


Got it?




What?



:mrgreen:

 

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica. "The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica. " The head stewardesses doesn't even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot. The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica. "

 

This couple performs in Vegas. The chick is like a life size Barbie Doll.

 

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How can you not have attention disorder when you are being spanked