The Attention Deficit Disorder Thread

Megan Fox; fun to fuck, but you wouldn't take her home to meet your mum.

 

No one calls Han Solo a bitch!

 

-All quiet, Chief?
-Looks like it, sir.
-Guess they're not coming tonight then.
-Nope. (sly grin) Guess you'll have to go dinner then.
[pause]
-You know, Chief, if I wasn't the super-awesome officer that I am, and you weren't the lowly itty-bitty little bug of a Chief that you so are, I'd kick your ass for that.
-Guess I was just born lucky, sir.
[snickers all round]

 

So Han’s walking down the halls of Bespin with his old friend Lando. Leia’s there, and lookin’ good. Han thinks he’s off to dinner - maybe some wine, a little flirting, and then back to the ol’ guest quarters with Her Hotness.

But the door opens, and there’s Darth Vader.

Han doesn’t look incredulously at Lando; he doesn’t duck or run away.

What does Han do?

He starts shooting at the motherfucker.

He starts shooting.

Be like Han.

 

Dirty Hippy

`I know what you're thinking. "Did she throw six flowers or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is an Interflora delivery, the most powerful flower delivery company in the world, and would blow your nose clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?`

 

You're offended on his behalf? Grow up. If I said something offensive about you or too you, then feel free to get all hogwild and hormonal, but until then, get a life and leave me the hell alone.

 

I shouldn't have pushed that button, should I?

 

And now, in the interest of equal time, here is a message from the National Institute of Pancakes: It reads, and I quote, “Fuck waffles.”

 

I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.

 

`My daughters will not go without me, I will not go without the King, and the King will never leave.`

 

NATHAN BEDFORD FORREST - War means fighting, and fighting means killing.

 

The evolution of the human race is peculiar.

Never before has a species existed that is capable of such elevated thinking as to split and later fuse atoms for energy, but also for it’s weapons potential. The ability to sacrifice themselves to save a child that is not related or connected to them in any way, yet also capable of throwing children into gas chambers or hacking up babies with machetes.

How a species such as this survived it’s own progenation is a cause of a great deal of high-minded debate and thought in universities, colleges and pubs across the near-galaxy.

How it continues to survive is another question altogether.

 

“Admiral MacMurray requests your presence in the command ring, Colonel.” Marcus ignored the light snickering behind him.
“Lady Mac doesn’t want to maybe let me clean up first? Change my gear? I haven’t seen a shower head in nearly 85 hours.” The young staff officer’s nose wrinkled for just a split-second at the usage of Admiral MacMurray’s affectionate nickname.
“She was most insistent, sir.”

 

Funny how things work out.

 

Ouagadougou

 

Eye of the beholder. And I don't behold her.