The Attention Deficit Disorder Thread

H.L MENCKEN - It doesn't take a majority to make a rebellion; it only takes a few determined men and a sound cause.

 

ALBERT EINSTEIN - Reality is merely an illuson, albeit a very persistent one.

 

OSCAR WILDE - We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

 

NIKITA KRUSCHEV - Politicians are the same all over the world; we build bridges where there aren't any rivers.

 

PLATO - Only the dead have seen the end of war.

 

WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE - Henry V, Act 3, Scene 1
"Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close the wall up with our English dead ...
Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood."
"The game's afoot: Follow your spirit:
and, upon this charge Cry 'God for Harry! England and Saint George!'"

 

The noblest ideas have always been protected by warriors.

 

Blind faith is the crutch of fools.

 

Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.

 

"When fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross."-- Sinclair Lewis

 

Lord Justice Sedley, July 3rd, 1999 - `Free speech includes not only the inoffensive, but the irritating, the contentious, the eccentric, the heretical, the unwelcome and the provocative provided it does not tend to provoke violence. Freedom only to speak inoffensively is not worth having.`

 

-Starting a war is easy. Stopping it; now, that’s the trick.
-That’s pretty good.
-Thanks (PAUSE) ‘Course, Machiavelli said it better, all lyrical prose and shit, but he’s dead, so I don’t think he’ll complain.
-Devious.
-Clever girl.
-Huh?
-Not so clever girl.

 

Have you seen my pills, Gran? They were, erm, labelled `LSD`?
Fuck the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!

 

I could suck on a fag right about now.
Erm, ok........I'll just watch, I guess.
Huh?
You wanna suck on a...
Cigarette. A cigarette. A fag.
Oh. Ohhh!
Wait, dude; you'll just watch? What the fuck?
I was trying to be polite.
Mmm-hmm.

 

-It’s like saying we should hate the French because of what Napoleon did, or the Germans for Hitler. There are plenty of modern reasons to hate the French.

 

-After I set this off, you better move your skinny black arse like you just spilled my pint.
-Yes, boss.

(LATER, SOMEONE COMPLAINS)

-Am I not his boss? Is he not skinny? Is he not black? Does he not have an arse?
-And a nice one at that.
-What he said. Only less gay. Sorry, is that offensive too?

 

-I don’t think about people in that way. Well, not since I did the training course. I’ve got the certificates.
-Framed them, did you?
-My mum was so proud.

 

A Briton is like an elephant; it might be difficult to define one, but you know one when you see one. Most importantly, he will know what he is.

 

Colder than a witches tit; how cold is a witch’s tit? And who checked? Was there extensive research undertaken? ‘Cos if it was just the one witch...well, it might have been a bit nippy on that day. Witches might have very warm bosoms; enquiring minds need to know.

 

And hey presto, Robert's your mother's brother.