The Attention Deficit Disorder Thread

IT'S SNOWING!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Lucky!

 

Hmmm, I taste beer again.

 

I love to hear about furball's sexual adventures.

I like some rimming to go with the cunnilingus.

 

Phantom smells and tastes could be a sign of a brain tumor.

 

It stopped snowing.

But we're supposed to get more snow this week!

*sings*
Jingle Bells, jingle bells, jinglealltheway! Oh whatfunitistorideinaonehorseopensleigh!!

 

You're not helping....

 

It could also be.... well, beer.

 

Dashing through the snow....
In a one horse open sleigh...
Over the hills we go!
LAUGHING all the way....

 

Schwing!

 

The weather is fucked atm. You try riding a bike in these conditions.

 

:hi: hi friends

 

hi and im back... long night.
i ddint get to have sex again i hate it when that happens
its not like i wanted swing from the light fixture's oh shit im going to remember this for the rest of my life sex
i just wanted a nice warm damp place to shove my penis into for a little bit
its not like ti fuciking hurts or anything
ahh.. anyway, yea long night
i see furballs been giving sex tips,
i wanna do that

brothergrims lessons for a sex fiend
or
Dont try this at home.. .by brothergrims

lesson 1
while laying comfortably on the bed with your females head resting on your legs while you softly rub her back and watch a romantic movie, its best not to blurt out "well that thing aint gonna suck itself honey!"

 

oddly im wondering if someone were to kiss you right now, would it taste like beer, is there a lady anyplace (or an open minded male) that could test that for us?

 

brothergrims lessons for a sex fiend
or
Dont try this at home.. .by brothergrims

lesson 2
at no time should a nude male ever place one hand behind his head one hand on his hip and while standing before his mate move his hips in a thrusting manor making his dingaling flop to and fro... this is not a turn on

as it turns out.

 

brothergrims lessons for a sex fiend
or
Dont try this at home.. .by brothergrims

lesson 3
when at the point in a long term relationship your female mate asked the inevitable question, "Do you want to sleep with her?" the correct response is simply 'no' here are some responses that should be avoided

Avoid these Responses

Fuck yes, did you see her ass?

Only if you want to join us.

Can i?

Yes, Yes i would...

and of course

I already did last week, she gives great head.

 

brothergrims lessons for a sex fiend
or
Dont try this at home.. .by brothergrims

lesson 4
While preparing to go down on a woman (suck dat pussy dry) it is best to squelch any unbridled desires to say things such as..

Looks like its an all day buffet at the fish fry

Do i smell tasty tuna

Is that blood dripping out of there

Oh look seaman, yum yum yum

and of course

Om Nom Nom Nom Nom*



*Om Nom Nom Nom Nom is boarder line, some get pissed, but most just laugh and send you home

 

brothergrims lessons for a sex fiend
or
Dont try this at home.. .by brothergrims

lesson 5
when you are about to receive a hummer (blowjob). "get dat boner sucked dry" here are some of the things that should be avoided until at least after he/she is done.

do not say the following

Happy birthday Blasto... (i have no idea why, but it seems to stop all activity instantly)

baby, if you swallow theres a brand new fifty in it for you

Yea thats it, Gag on it, make you wish you were a man (seems to confuse them enough they simply have to stop and figure it out)

Bite on it (Make sure how hard has been specified, if anything ANYTHING has gone wrong during the day prior to this action, she will, and you will wish she hadn't)

Can i fuck you in the mouth (apparently derogatory)

Suck that cock bitch (apparently derogatory)

and of course

This thing aint gonna suck itself.

 

brothergrims lessons for a sex fiend
or
Dont try this at home.. .by brothergrims

lesson 6
Ive covered this before but its important enough to repeat
if your receiving a good sucking by a person with long hair
its best not to stuff a tuft of hair under each butt cheek while explaining "I just want to make sure you finish."

 

brothergrims lessons for a sex fiend
or
Dont try this at home.. .by brothergrims

lesson 7
Surprise butt sex (although funny as hell) is not the best way to have a peaceful sexual encounter. however as noted, it is funny as hell. If you do choose this method, go ahead and finish, chances are it will be the last time your going near those holes again.