The Attention Deficit Disorder Thread

My co-workers would just nod and smile. They've heard crazier from me.

 

Actually, I like the name Pimmel much better than Penis. (It's a slang word for penis, but an old one, so using it now is kind of retro-ironic )

 

Why am I not surprised

 

I've never heard that term!

 

Well, it's a German slang word.

 

Well pimmel me down!

 

Pimmelkopf.

 

Try the translator. Let's see what you get.

 

Dick head.

 

Did it actually translate Pimmel?
I thought that word was a bit outdated.

 

Nope, it did.

 

Is my wife trying to impress someone at work or is this normal behavior.

My wife of twenty years has always taken a bowel movement at work in the morning and not at home. With the hectic schedule of getting ready for work and getting the kids up and off to school niether one of us really had the time to take a crap at home in the morning. We usually did it at work. I went at around ten and she around nine or at least that is what she told me.

Lately though she has been getting up earlier and pooping at home. I wonder if some new guy got hired on at the office and for some reason she does not want to offend him with the odor. She had really smelly poops in the past because she ate a lot of meat but since has turned to mostly veggies, which make the poop smell less pungent. Plus I found a vial of pooperizers in her purse. These make the poop smell like cinnimon which incidently is the spice of choice for men who have affairs with married women or that is what I heard.

Do you guys think she is cheating on me and do I have cause to worry?

One thing I left out is that since she started taking the pooperizers she has begun to poop at work again. Could a guy really be turned on by cinnamon smelling poop?

 

ewwwwwwwwwwww

 

That was actually posted on a website I just stumbled upon, some sort of question and answer thing. Some of the answers are hilarious.

 

Furball! Stop playing with that Clitoris!!

 

someday i get like this. i dont want sex or dirty things
i want someone to say it will be ok. i want to know that its not all up to me, that they are helping, that they see what im going through and even if they have nothing to offer they will at least respect my burden, someone that would not ask me for more when ive nothing more to give, or in the least be paying enough attention to me that they now there is nothing left.
so even thought im a pervert, and it seems all i think about is sex, i think that these things above are important as well.

 

Beep beep, who got the keys to the Jeep? Vrrrrrrrooooom!!!!

 

Once, I was walking in the woods and I ...shit never mind.

 

I heard that






Now it's time to mambo!