The Attention Deficit Disorder Thread

That it is Yay thats Munchkins my 3yo Abyssinian cross who came in sopping wet..jumped all over me (yeeechhhh) and then settled down in front of the fire to sleep.


sopping wet pussy isn't all its cracked up to be

and how are you this lovely morning my lady :hi:

 

I'm fine! Sweet pics of Munchkins, very cute. And now let's talk about vacuum cleaners.

 

What???!!! you mean there is time when that isn't happening

Morning Jack

 

I'm a man what would I know about Vacuum cleaners

 

Why is there a spoon on the floor??? Whyyyyy??

 

I hear they can rip your junk off!

 

Why not ?????? We do things different Down under or maybe it was sitting in a dish that Munchy knocked over.....yep that sounds good :roll:

Well thankfully for me I bcouldn't find one with a barrel big enough to try so I didn't end up like some of these blokes



What can you tell us about vacuum cleaner wounds to the penis? This malady apparently afflicts an informational underclass who think that a vacuum cleaner can simulate fellatio.

— Inquiring Mind, Chicago

Cecil replies:

Got those midwinter blues, kids? Cecil has just the thing to brighten up your dull lives. Several cases of "penile injuries from vacuum cleaners" were reported about ten years ago in the British Medical Journal. The injury reports are classic:

"Case 1--A 60-year-old man said that he was changing the plug of his Hoover Dustette vacuum cleaner in the nude while his wife was out shopping. It 'turned itself on' and caught his penis, causing tears around the external meatus.... Multiple lacerations of the glans [were] repaired with catgut.

"Case 2--A 65-year-old railway signalman was in his signal box when he bent down to pick up his tools and 'caught his penis in a Hoover Dustette, which happened to be switched on.' He suffered extensive lacerations to the glans.

"Case 3--A 49-year-old man was vacuuming his friend's staircase in a loose-fitting dressing gown, when, intending to switch the machine off, he leaned across to reach the plug; 'at that moment his dressing gown became undone and his penis was sucked into the vacuum cleaner.'"

I think it is very unfair of you to suggest that these tragic victims were involved in unnatural acts. Here they were, just trying to keep things tidy, when they were attacked by a treacherous appliance. The real fault lies with the Hoover company for manufacturing such a dangerous product. But even the doctors are snickering, the cads. The report quoted above concludes, "the Hoover Dustette [has] fan blades about 15 cm from the inlet. The present patients may well have thought that the penis would be clear of the fan but were driven to new lengths by the novelty of the experience and came to grief." New lengths, indeed. Just wait till it happens to you.

— Cecil Adams

 

I once read something similar about unusual objects ending up in people's asses. The explanations they came up with!

 

Did you win the ebay auctions, furry?

 

Like this one which is part of the Coke is it ad promotion

 

Lost two but the big one which is for a spare set of leather seats for my wagon doesn't end for another 5 hours but at the moment I'm still in the lead thanks yay

 

*resists urge to go to ebay and bid on useless stuff*

 

My bosses favourite term of abuse is dogfucker and given that he really loves his dogs I went on Ebay and found Dog lingerie a crotchless teddy for the discerning canine lover.....from Germany of all places I wonder if they make one for goats....I was thinking of getting Jack something he can use for Christmas

 

Those wacky perverted Germans!!! *searches ebay for cat lingerie*

I think Jack prefers his goats all natural and pure. Maybe with a hint of lipstick, but that's all.

 

Well if theres a market



Hmmmmmmm well there was that video that I saw awhile back that fits the bill and here I thought I was imagining things when I heard the goat saying Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk He must train them well

 

You watch goat porn?
Now who's the wacky one!!

 

Just trying to broaden my horizons :roll: and it was at Jacks suggestion

Although I heard that a friend of a friend typed in goat porn as a laugh, vusited the first couple of sites and got so many viruses that it destroyed his computer :2cent:

 

Yes, I heard Jack wrote a few viruses and spread them on those sites so that he can keep the goat porn all to himself.

 

That Bastard