The Attention Deficit Disorder Thread

-Can I tempt you with a pocket warm sweet?
-Err, no thanks.
-Did you see what I did there? Made a seemingly generous offer in the most unattractive way in the subconscious hope you'd say no? Therefore more for me, y'see.
-You're a strange guy.
-I get that a lot.
-I'm shocked.

 

*scrolls back* 17.

Sure.

 

"What's that guy on?"
"Nothing. That's the worrying part."

 

"You know, people never say that anymore."
"What?" (pause)
"I forgot."
"What?"
"Well, it's been such a long time since I had the thought, and since I heard it used, that I forgot what it was people never say anymore."
"Because no one's used it."
"Exactly."
"You're crazy."
"(sigh)That, or on the way pretty directly."

 

Have you been drinking non-stop?
No. Whiskey.

 

-Of course, the Nazi Party itself wasn't really cool per se...
-They kinda are, y'know. Style, accent, dress sense, general wackiness. It's all there.

 

Well no its not nice to speak ill of the dead especially if you killed him

 

-I believe children are our future
-It's a radical thought

 

Questioned.

Never arrested. :spy:

 

Thanks
You will reget it

 

-What's that ticking sound?
-It's the indicator.
-I meant the other one!
-Oh. And, of course, I knew that.

 

I don't have two daughters; I have twin daughters. That's like having one child. Superone. When they get nervous or excited, that start finishing each other's sentences.

With the red hair and the freckles, it's kinda creepy.

 

I like meeting someone as naive as you. It's refreshing.

 

Do me a favour and have a quiet word in an ear for me. If that fails, try poison. (pause, look) What? It worked for Uncle Claudius. Got him Denmark and everything. Of course, then they all died...well, I'm not saying the plan doesn't have a few infintesimal flaws.

 

Gingers???!!!!

 

-Do you speak English?
-Only fluently for the last twenty years or so. Before that, my elocution and spelling was pretty atrocious. But then my grammar hasn't really noticeably improved.

 

Boys are ginger.

Girls are redheads.

Weird, but wholly accurate, that.

 

-You're just jealous
-Shit yeah. Have you seen your girlfriend?
-Fiancee.
-Beg pardon?
-(shows ring) Fiancee.
-Good god, look at the size of that rock. (admires) Wait a minute...who gets to wear this?
-We've got seperate rings.
-Aha! Now I see why you people want this same sex wedding thing. Excess jewellery. Explains a lot.

 

As the good book says - albeit with some different words and a few more long winded sentences - fuck it.

 

-You're beat up pretty bad.
-Thanks.
-Means you did a real good job in killing that last hostile.
-Well, there's a nice, safe, generic name for it. I would've gone with `big fucking alien`.
-I'm amazed you managed to survive at all, with this amount of nerve damage.
-The wonders of the adrenal gland.